Some parents seem to fall into the category of “sports parent” so seamlessly. It is almost as if they were born to be a sports parent. This parent is so enthusiastically at every game or meet, yelling out very positive affirmations to their child no matter how they are performing, so excited that the season is even here, and cannot wait until the next game! And they NEVER seem to get frustrated. They maintain a steady, perky, supportive smile and keep cheering on the team.
Yeah…this is not me. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy watching my kids play. I do make it to every meet, and I do yell out positive affirmations. BUT, I also look forward to the season being over, I often look at my watch and wonder if the meet or game will ever end, and I have been known to the parents around me to get very…what is a good way to put this…passionately frustrated. Have you ever seen those crazy NFL superfans? The ones whose faces are 1/2 inch away from their TV screens as they scream profanities at the players, refs, and coaches? Yup…that would be me.
That side of me never really came out when my kids were in dance or gymnastics. Tiny, very mellow versions of it may have peaked out at track or cross country meets. Baseball was an opportunity to let a little more of the crazy sneak out. But, volleyball…volleyball has brought out the crazy and has forced me have to stand before you and say out loud: “Hello, my name is Kelly, and I am a bad sports mom”.

Volleyball has everything you want in a sport! Suspense, fast paced action, nail biting plays! You never get a chance to “settle down” because just as soon as a play is over, another one is beginning! There are endless opportunities for bad sports parents to shine:
“THAT BALL WAS IN!!!!!!!!”
“DIVE FOR THAT BALL!!!!”
“MOVE YOUR LEGS!!!”
“WERE YOU DAYDREAMING OVER THERE???!!!”
The list can be quite extensive.

But, one thing that a parent should never do at their child’s games… I mean never, ever, EVER do at their child’s games; is to break the Golden Rule of a Sports Parent.
Didn’t know there was a golden rule to being a sports parent? Probably not. Because I just made it up.
The Golden Rule of a Sports Parent: Never swear. Especially…the dreaded F bomb.
Last night, 4 kids, 23 years of being a sports mom, 8 different sports…last night, I broke the Golden Rule.
Now, I did not scream it out. It was discreetly said in a muffled voice as I leaned over to some other moms. “Oh my god…can they just hit the f’ing ball tonight?”.
It wasn’t loud but, it was loud enough that several of the other parents sitting near us heard; and I could tell they were not impressed.
Oooooh, the shame I felt. I still feel badly. I need to learn how, as my teenager tells me, to “just chill”.

So, to any of my fellow bad sports parents reading — how do we do this? How do we “just chill”? Do we practice deep breathing at games? Do we calmly tell ourselves to just settle down when we get passionately frustrated? Do we slather ourselves in Essential Oils with names such as Stress Relief and Peace and Calming? I’m not really sure.
In the meanwhile, I will try my best to be chill mom at the next game. Perhaps I should consider baking some cookies to bring and share with the parents who had to witness the profanity of a very bad sports mom.